Hello everyone, 

Thought I’d drop you a line to see how you are all doing.  Sorry about the long delay; but my first semester of grad school was much more involved than I first thought.  Things are continuing to go well up here at the seminary.  I just finished my first semester of graduate work – which is something of a miracle in itself because I’m remembering how much I swore I would never return to school the last time I finished.   But God has a great sense of humor, and off we go again for another 5 years.  For the curious, I just took Intro to Theology, Fundamental Theology, Classics, ancient Church history, and Exegesis.  

We get a major ministry assignment for the year, and this year I’m working at a youth correction facility.  The guys I worked with were in maximum security.  You would have seen the names of most of these guys in the paper.  They’re usually teenagers that have been convicted of multiple or particularly brutal murders or have serious criminal/psychological problems.  It has been quite an eye-opening experience and I have learned a lot to say the least.  It has taken me almost 4 months to get trained and comfortable enough in the environment to be useful.  One must be very conscious of what they’re doing, where they are, who’s around them at all times on top of trying to discern what the person in front of you needs.  The particular ministry needs in a prison require a lot of discernment and love.  It’s helped me understand how human people in prison are, and that it never should be a place we lock people up and forget about them. 

This semester was very, very stressful for me.  The adjustment to graduate workload and courses was a little rougher than I thought.  The grades all came out great in the end; but it had a really rocky start on a personal note.  Theology is a very different beast from philosophy, and even further still than computer science!  I’m using a whole lot more of the left side of the brain than before.  I know a great number of you have been praying for me regularly, and I certainly do the same for you and appreciate it.  But, since I was so busy, I haven’t been doing a lot of extra-curricular stuff and so this update is a little on the short side because I spent 90% of my time doing homework and papers, which isn’t very interesting to talk about. 

I went back to Indiana for the holidays to visit my family.  This year I made all my Christmas presents myself; which were framed pictures I’ve taken over the last year. Everyone really seemed to really enjoy the pictures they got and some asked for a few more.  The time spent was absolutely wonderful and the hope is that the family will be able to come out this semester or this summer. 

Well, now it’s time for a little semester reflection:

One of the interesting observations I’ve made this semester is the nature of love.  Love is a very strange beast.  When we decide to love, it is always an intensely personal thing.  These particular ways and moments of self-giving love are readily visible to spouses or loved ones; but they are also visible in our ‘general’ loves.  Even when we claim to love a general thing – like a country, or God, or democracy or such – love can only gain expression in an intensely personal relationship and circumstance.  When one loves their country and dies for it; it often expresses itself is a very personal and self-giving act in a particular moment on the battlefield.  My life given in this foreign land in a particular act - all to protect a particular group of people.  A particular moment and place the person chooses to put him or herself into harms way when they don’t have to.  Great acts of heroism are often great acts of love; which is why they are so powerful when recounted because great love is always astounding and life-giving to all that moment touches.  Even in loving God, it essentially and always leads us to a very particular way of living His intensely individual/particular plan for us and to individual people we’re called to serve.  This also works in reverse: we discover who and what we truly love by looking at the individual and particular things we are doing in our lives.  If we claim to love God, and yet we cheat and deceive others, spend all our individual time for ourselves, look out for our own interests at the expense of the good of others, then we are showing what we really love.  This was something the great saints observed.  You cannot claim to love God without loving your neighbor.  They claimed that even the smallest acts of the day done in love could change the world. Why is that?  Because when one learns how to recognize God’s presence, or the potential for his presence, and give what they can of themselves to every person they meet (since God is present in all people – even if only in a small way); they have found the mystery of living in God’s love for all people. 

This is the mystery of love – that it is particular.  Any married person can tell you that they love their spouse, but love really happens by the small acts and self-sacrifices for the other person they do throughout the day.  One says they love their spouse on the wedding day, but they actually do the loving when they come home early to help with the chores, when one gives up their own ambitions for the greater good of the family, or any act of self-giving that is focused on the greater good of the other and of the two together.  So too with love of God – by recognizing and loving the presence God has in each person around you.  And indeed, love grows cold when those little acts are no longer performed; and soon you cannot say you love God himself.  Love can only happen in an individual place, with real people, in every moment of your day.  This may only be a kind word to a stranger in line, to help someone carry something, or the intense giving of oneself in marriage or to a child.  All these are love.  Maybe it’s a good time to review what we are spending our time and talent on.  Where can I make a particular act of love?  A coworker I don’t get along with, a gift or donation to someone in need, taking a first step of reconciliation or forgiveness with a family member we have fought with.  Whatever it is, we can ask for Gods help to put it into action so that we can offer him our gift as beautiful and worthy as gold, frankincense or myrrh.   

Please send me an update on how you all are doing; I love hearing from you all!  I keep you all in my prayers regularly.

God bless,

Matt